Trust

A Quotation from House.

“It’s not about pain, it’s about being open, completely vulnerable to another human being, if you can learn to be that deeply trusting… it changes you”

I had add, “It sets you free” at the end there.

New Beginnings

Looking into the unknown future,

Every coming wave frightens me

Thinking of a timeless pleasure,

A wounded heart saddens me

Though I take every measure,

For those wounds not to remind me

I still stand in a lonely pasture,

As a morning breeze surrounds me

Still there is time to venture,

Into the perceived darkness around me

Every step I take, I murmur,

May the light be beside me!

Boredom

‘I’d say the quantity of boredom, if boredom is measureable, is much greater today than it once was. Because the old occupations, at least most of them, were unthinkable without a passionate involvement: the peasants in love with their land; my grandfather, the magician of beautiful tables; the shoemakers who knew every villager’s feet by heart; the woodsmen; the gardeners; probably even the soldiers killed with passion back then. The meaning of life wasn’t an issue; it was there with them, quite naturally in their workshops, in their fields. Each occupation had created its own mentality, its own way of being. A doctor would think differently from a peasant, a soldier would behave differently from a teacher. Today we are all alike, all of us bound together by our shared apathy towards our work. That very apathy has become our passion. The one great collective passion of our time.’

Another excerpt from “Identity” by Milan Kundera. Found this quite true of our lives, thought I had share.

Just this

I will say just this "A thing of beauty is a joy forever"
Even if we are not together anymore, i hope she continues to shine in my life even if as a memory.

They say 'The Spring is Here'

They Lie, because i look around me
And i can see everyone is still sad
Whats the use of these flowers really
When they bloom only in a sea of sadness
Why cant these people see the flowers blooming
The sun shining so brightly like never before
Is there just this sadness in this world
I ask as i am pulled into this vortex of sadness
Even The Word makes me sad now
Why cant anyone just look at a flower
The little flower as it blooms, just like a smile
Why cant they smile when they see the flower blooming
Why cant people look around themselves for once
Its a new beginning all around
Nature has had its year, its turned a new leaf
I wish people would turn a new leaf too
forget whats in the past
See as green leaves begin to appear on those barren looking trees
Why cant people forget the barrenness in their own lives
Why cant they see the potential for new leaves
Forget those dried leaves in their closets
I wish we would forget whats behind us
Look at the beauty around us
Because it really is beautiful this time of the year
All we got to go is go out and see
These tears are blinding us and these wounds keep burning up
Just open your eyes and See for your own sake
You are only sinking deeper into the quicksand
Stop scratching your wounds
Because this way they would never heal

The most beautiful time of the year is passing us by
Stop with your whining and look for once
Let the cool breeze lift your heart
Let your mind take in the beauty of it all
Listen to the singing of the birds
They herald the coming of Spring
The beginning is here, the question is
Are you willing to let go and start Afresh.

Let Me

Let me look into your soul,

Through your beautiful green eyes;

Let me past your barricades,

The ones that won’t let you trust me;

Let me just whisper in your ear,

When you think I am not with you;

Let me tell you that I love you,

Over and over again when you doubt us;

Let me wipe away your tears,

When you cry for me;

Let me tell you who I am,

When you think I am not the person who loves you;

Let me hold you in my arms,

When you don’t want me to;

Let me smile for you,

When you aren’t smiling no more;

Let me tickle you,

When you become all serious;

Let me cuddle up against you,

When you are lonely;

Let your hair fall over my face,

Just because I want them to;

Let my love be with you,

When I am not there to tell you just that;

Let me just be there with you,

Just because that's all I really want.

The Suicide

I must make it absolutely clear that this is just something i wrote and has nothing to do whatsoever with my feelings at any time. It's a random piece of writing honed to perfection in my own regard. If it makes you sick i guess that's good. :-) .



Its cold and the cold is entering my body. I can feel it against my skin. I can feel my hair stand up from end to end to ward off the chilly feeling. Now I feel the wind brushing against my feverish temple making it feel all the more cold. I hug myself to feel warmer but its no good the cold is entering my bones now. I‘ve reached the top and then it strikes me ! Am I upto the task I’ve set myself? Is this what I really wish? Where has my life lead me? A thousand questions bombard my brain as it
forces itself into seclusion.

I walk on unconsciously .As the edge becomes visible the fear in my subconscious takes control of my mind. Is it the fear of death or the fear of what will come after death that’s driving me mad? I step closer to the edge tentatively. Fast moving vehicles whir past the building and I assure myself that even if I survive the fall I wouldn’t survive being trampled by one of those trucks. As I muse over my present situation, I mechanically align my toes with the edge. I feel the wind blow even more fiercely as if trying to force me to change my decision. I force myself into a shell. I can feel the stubbornness coming on.

I start to feel dizzy. Before I lose control of myself I offer a silent prayer, turn my eyes to the heavens, hoping I‘m forgiven for my cowardliness.

I lean forward to dive. Now I feel weightless and now the earth becomes larger and larger. Time shrinks and then becomes meaningless as I perish into the cold blackness of the road below.

Without You

Out on the road, in my lemon Vox,

There is nothing to be afraid of;

Out in the open fields, right under the blue sky,

There is just life all around me;

Out in the sunlight, sitting on the bench in the park,

There is just color all about me;

Out in the garden, just by the roses,

The most beautiful scent surrounds me;

Out by the sea, as I step over the waves,

There is no worry to bother me;

Yet why do I feel, Oh why do I feel,

All this is not the same without you;

How do I say this, Oh how do I tell you,

Nothing is the same without your love;

And why do I cry, Oh just tell me why,

When my bed is cold without you by my side;

How do I scream, Oh how do I scream for you,

When I can’t hear the beating of your heart next to mine;

How do I lie, Oh how do I lie,

When I tell myself I will be fine without you;

I just want to cry, oh I want to cry my heart out,

Till you come back to me, till everything feels good again.