The Suicide

I must make it absolutely clear that this is just something i wrote and has nothing to do whatsoever with my feelings at any time. It's a random piece of writing honed to perfection in my own regard. If it makes you sick i guess that's good. :-) .



Its cold and the cold is entering my body. I can feel it against my skin. I can feel my hair stand up from end to end to ward off the chilly feeling. Now I feel the wind brushing against my feverish temple making it feel all the more cold. I hug myself to feel warmer but its no good the cold is entering my bones now. I‘ve reached the top and then it strikes me ! Am I upto the task I’ve set myself? Is this what I really wish? Where has my life lead me? A thousand questions bombard my brain as it
forces itself into seclusion.

I walk on unconsciously .As the edge becomes visible the fear in my subconscious takes control of my mind. Is it the fear of death or the fear of what will come after death that’s driving me mad? I step closer to the edge tentatively. Fast moving vehicles whir past the building and I assure myself that even if I survive the fall I wouldn’t survive being trampled by one of those trucks. As I muse over my present situation, I mechanically align my toes with the edge. I feel the wind blow even more fiercely as if trying to force me to change my decision. I force myself into a shell. I can feel the stubbornness coming on.

I start to feel dizzy. Before I lose control of myself I offer a silent prayer, turn my eyes to the heavens, hoping I‘m forgiven for my cowardliness.

I lean forward to dive. Now I feel weightless and now the earth becomes larger and larger. Time shrinks and then becomes meaningless as I perish into the cold blackness of the road below.